Grief and Loss

Three Tidal Waves 

Three Years too long… I sit here with an aching, bleeding, broken heart just as I did three years ago.  The pain is fresh. The disbelief once again resurfaces and surrounds me.  How could a baby, a perfect little baby… healthy, strong, kicking… fine for 7 1/2 months…suddenly… die? It doesn’t make sense.  I can’t… Continue reading Three Tidal Waves 

Grief and Loss

Kickboxing Christmas

Kickboxing the Christmas tree. Ya… that’s what I contemplated doing last year.  I was mad as all get out that my son wasn’t here.  He should have been. I felt shattered and angry. I felt like a freaking hot mess that had been that way for a year and a half and I wanted to… Continue reading Kickboxing Christmas

Grief and Loss · Life after Loss

Going Forward

Today it dawned on me… I can’t stay in the past, although parts of me SO wish that I could stay there forever, in those moments of experiencing him. I am realizing life moves on and if I don’t move, albeit slowly, with it, i’m going to miss the life that I have left after… Continue reading Going Forward

Grief and Loss

The Bereaved Mother

The bereaved mother stands…as she sinks The bereaved mother smiles….as her heart breaks The bereaved mother loves…to a depth beyond what is known to  others The bereaved mother steps forward , even when shes not sure how…as the world watches her limp on by The bereaved mother’s heart is broken…yet it is full The bereaved… Continue reading The Bereaved Mother

Grief and Loss

Shattered

There I lay… Shattered. A million pieces on a cold cement floor. Moments passed. Then hours. Days came and went. Months droned on. And there I lay, not sure what to do next. How do you put a million pieces back together? You can’t. But God can. What I’ve been learning though, is that He… Continue reading Shattered

Grief and Loss

On Your Second Birthday…

My son turns 2 today. 2 years old…big round giggling bellies, smiling, adventuring (perhaps a bit too much at times), running around, hugs that melt your heart and  “ I wuv yooo’s” that make my world go ’round. My son turns 2 today. But I don’t get to enjoy the toddling feet or big round… Continue reading On Your Second Birthday…