I am the mother to 5 incredible children: 3 that live in my home with me, and 2 that reside in heaven.
My three sweet babies here are Shiloh, age 6, Abagail age 5, and Benjamin age 2. My son Philip was stillborn in April 2015 and my son Jeddediah was miscarried at 12 weeks in January 2010.
It was not until my loss of Philip that God allowed me to learn of grief and its’ process and to truly grieve the loss of my sons.
Though it has had its incredibly difficult moments…and continues to… I am forever changed and forever grateful as I know that suffering through the depths of grief has allowed me to reach places in my faith that I would have never even sought out before. It has proved, time and time again, this concept of God’s strength in my weakness.
I am still loving this journey. I still have ups and downs, and from what I can tell, I’ll be living it in one way or another for the rest of my life.
Grief is messy and ugly…and the experience of it is unpleasant and riveting and completely life altering. But sharing and talking and seeking and finding thorugh grief …. It can make all the difference in the world to some.
So I write to heal myself. I write to help others. I write because it is what God has given me a passion, and drive, and talent to do. I am, and always will be, Philip’s mama and Jeddediah’s mama…and in these titles, I will also always be a grieving mama.
I write of hope in Christ. I write of my journey. I write of love. I write of struggles. I write of faith. I write because I can’t not write.