It’s been a bit since I’ve written… I suppose you could say that the aftermath of his first birthday took all I had just to survive this far. It’s a new level and a new wave of grief…. that’s for sure. And one day if I find how, I’ll try to explain it, but for… Continue reading Empty Due Date
What if this post-loss ‘new normal’ is the place where God has been trying to get me, developing me for, preening me to live? What if the ‘new normal’ is really the age-old ‘normal’ that Providence has had for me for centuries? “For we are Gods masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus,… Continue reading What if…?
“You’ll be fine.” ” Just keep taking one step at a time.” “You’re doing great.” ” Just keep going.” We’ve all heard them, these false pretenses of encouragement.These “clichés” that are supposed to make you feel better about the big giant face of a dragon( also known as a future) that daily stares you in… Continue reading Overwhelmed
One year ago my beautifully handsome, strong, perfect son was in my arms. His tiny fingers curled around mine. His baby-soft wavy hair brushed my cheek when I kissed his head. His tiny body rested in my arms.A year ago I became a mama again… but this time to a baby I couldn’t take… Continue reading One Year
It was a year ago we heard the words that changed our lives forever. “I’m looking right at his heart and it isn’t moving” How do you even respond to this… to a doctor sitting on the bottom edge of your bed, your bare round belly exposed to the cold, harsh hospital air, and your husband sitting… Continue reading 365 days…
They say it comes in “waves” this grief. And ‘they’ seem to be correct in this, except for when I think of ‘waves’, I think of rolling hills of water, some bigger, some smaller…. Grief seems more like a tidal wave some days, a hot spring the next, and then a waterfall that appears out… Continue reading Waves
A pebble tossed in a lake may go in with a splash or it may enter silently. But it always, always leaves a ripple. A ripple that starts where it lands and ends only at the outer banks of the water body. Grief is a lot like that. Rippling, silently throughout our life. People notice… Continue reading The Ripple Effect